Bringing home a new baby is an undoubtedly exciting time for many parents. Yet, it can often be a time of enormous change, pressure and heightened emotions. Whilst there is an increasing awareness of the need to support mothers’ mental health in the perinatal period, many men find themselves battling feelings of low mood, heightened anxiety or intrusive thoughts. If you are struggling with your mental health after welcoming a new baby, you are not alone. In fact, 1 in 10 new dads experience postnatal depression (Paulson & Bazemore, 2010). Despite this, only 1 in 3 dads say that they were asked about their mental health by a professional during the perinatal period.

In discussions of maternal mental health, the focus is often placed on the hormonal changes women experiences before and after childbirth. Resultantly, many men can feel lost and isolated when they also experience mental health challenges after welcoming a new baby. It’s important to remember the mental ill-health is often influenced by a range of biological, environmental and social factors. These may include:

• Sleep deprivation
• Changes in diet or routine
• Decreased time and energy to engage in usual coping strategies
• Financial pressures
• Differences between expectations and reality
• Additional responsibilities, such as increased housework or childcare responsibilities
• Changes to your relationship
• Returning to work before you feel ready
• Feeling underprepared or overwhelmed
• Not feeling supported
• Changes to social opportunities

Sometimes mental health challenges can arise for any of the above reasons, other times symptoms may appear with no obvious cause. Irrespective of “why” things are harder right now, struggling with your mental health during new parenthood is completely understandable and you are not alone!

Postpartum mental health challenges will look different from one person to the next. Common symptoms may include:

·       Feeling low, sad, numb or hopeless

·       Low motivation

·       Feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope

·       Worrying that you are not bonding with your baby

·       Irritability

·       Tearfulness

·       Anxiety or panic attacks

·       Changes to appetite

·       Difficulty sleeping

·       Feelings of guilt

If you recognise some of these symptoms in yourself, it is important to remember that support is available and recovery is possible. Whilst adjusting to life with a new baby can be challenging for all parents, persistent feelings of low mood, anxiety or overwhelm do not have to be something you simply "push through".

Some strategies that may help include:

• Talk about how you are feeling. Many dads feel pressure to be the "strong one" or to focus solely on supporting their partner. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust can help reduce feelings of isolation and provide an opportunity to access support.

• Prioritise rest where possible. Sleep deprivation can have a significant impact on mental wellbeing. While uninterrupted sleep may feel impossible during the early months of parenthood, accepting help from others and taking opportunities to rest can make a meaningful difference.

• Maintain healthy routines. Regular meals, physical activity and spending time outdoors can all support mental wellbeing during periods of increased stress.

• Stay connected. Parenthood can sometimes feel isolating, particularly if your usual social activities have changed. Keeping in touch with friends, family or other parents can provide valuable emotional support.

• Be realistic with your expectations. Social media and popular culture often present an idealised version of parenthood. It is normal to find some aspects of caring for a new baby difficult, overwhelming or less enjoyable than you expected.

• Seek professional support if needed. If symptoms persist, worsen or begin affecting your daily life, consider speaking with your GP or a mental health professional. Early support can help prevent difficulties from becoming more severe.

If you have been experiencing symptoms for more than two weeks, if they are affecting your ability to function day-to-day, or if you feel unable to cope, it is important to reach out for support. Some accessible support services include:

Your GP

Your GP should always be one of the first points of contact if symptoms are persistent, worsening, or impacting daily life. They can discuss treatment options, refer to talking therapies, and signpost local support services.

Health Visitor

For fathers as well as mothers, health visitors can provide advice, reassurance and signposting to appropriate support during the perinatal period.

Action Mental Health

Action Mental Health provides a range of wellbeing, counselling, recovery and support services across Northern Ireland for individuals experiencing mental health difficulties.

Parenting NI

Parenting NI provides support, information and guidance for parents navigating the challenges of family life and parenting.

Lifeline

If you or someone you know is in distress or experiencing thoughts of suicide, Lifeline is available 24 hours a day on 0808 808 8000.

Samaritans

Samaritans provides confidential emotional support 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call 116 123 free from any phone.